I've noticed that i'm becoming really angry these days, and i'm lashing out randomly and even hitting my own folks, just like Fluttershy herself. The more property i damage, the worse my situation gets, especially financially. And indeed, becoming bigger and stronger has, as i'd feared, only worsened my anger, instead of quelling it.
I had initially intended to become powerful enough and tough enough to fend off one policeman, but the death of my father has imbued me with so much rage that i'm willing to off the entire world, just to appease/avenge myself. Some of my works in my gallery may even hint as to why i have diminished empathy for fellow humans.
Going back on medication is not an option; for i will need all my mental faculties and proceßing power to remain independent, especially from drugs. Drug dependencies, for me, would be a fate worse than death.
Luckily under all that there's a silver lining; i had some electronic diagrams examined for functionality and got grade A for each one. I just need to implement them; i'm lucky to have a soldering iron from my kin's old Real Robots kit, and there are a few Altronics stores within range of my home. I just have to be diligent enough outside the kitchen to accomplish this.